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wudge Utopia

shades of grey
Updated 11/4/2008
Updated 10/26/2007
Updated 11/5/2008
Updated 12/23/2006
Updated 12/31/2006
Updated 2/27/2007
Updated 2/14/2007
Updated 12/10/2006
Updated 9/16/2006
Updated 2/19/2007
Updated 2/14/2007
August 14

Delusional King

he ruled the land of utopia
he has heard all the tales of before
crooked kings of failure lands
but he was a king like no other
or so he thought
 
his ideals are rightous and high
he wanted prosperity for his kingdom
he wanted harmony for his kingdom
he wanted love of his people
or so he thought
 
he has everything he ever wanted
his people follow his word
his people are well
his people are happy
or so he thought
 
darkness came as the sun retire
and the king sat on his corner
a bottle of wine kept him company as he sat
and wept throught another restless night
all is well, it's just the cold
or so he thought
 
-------------------------------------------------------- 14 August 2008
 
 
 
 
July 05

King of Convinience - I'd Rather Dance With You

Dedicated for my girl :D

 

 

 

May 19

Bumper Car and Lost In Amazon

 

 

 philiphine

May 13

Acar

Acar is always provided everytime you order yourself a plate of nasi goreng . Sitting in the corner of my plate like that.. you can hardly notice it's existance but it's there.. it's purpose was to neutralize the heat off nasi goreng so you don't get panas dalam.. but acar never was the star of the plate, nowhere on the menu can you find descriptions that says 'nasi goreng dengan acar' it's always either nasi goreng with telor or pete...those stinkin' petes.. they did nothing except preventing your girlfriend from kissing you... despite it's importance acar never complained, never seduce you to eat it or enforcing how important it is to you.. no.. it just sits conviniently within your reach.. always ready whenever you need it.
April 29

breathe

i smoked the last bit of my cig.. they call it sigaret (how they would say rokok back in the days) to send the message that they still do it the old fashion way: 32 MG tar with no filter... so they're supposed to kill you faster but hey~~ they taste the best!! a daily reminder to self that more often then not: whats good in life don't usually last...
 
I was lucky enough to have met and be in love with an adorable woman. she was perfect for me from head to toe.. she's everything i could ever ask for in a women. Sharing an ice cream with her could send me off the roof imagining how wonderful it would be to grow old together, we so connect and share so many things in common we could well be an advertisement for some presidential election campaign (with the slogan:"i understand you!", "i care for what you care!"). She said she thinks alot while i think i.. ah.. i don't think..  -__-!! but hey~ that could work in a complimentary kind of ways don't it...  
How could something this good happened to me? could it last?... will this be a start of a good dream or have she just awaken me from my sleep... sense of insecurities flooded me, i've always told myself the story of an empty room with butterfly, repeating it over and over inside my head until i de-attached her from my addiction... an addiction over a person is a rope strangled around her, your selfishness could well strangle her, suffoscating her, it is not an expression of love.. nothing but ego and selfishness, crushing the butterfly with your own palm... but what can i do.. i can sense she's becoming the air that i breathe
 
Breathing air is what i'm doing~ sitting by the porch, it was a quite morning, the rotan chair i sat seemed a little dusty, spiderwebs hidden in between corners, i guess nobody bothered to sit there anymore.. Everything was still, no sound of car engine, no satpam strolling outside, no mbak watching tv, no tukang sayur yelling outside, just me and my small green patch. i pretend i was a king~
April 04

Karawach Sky

then i see you again
that one foolish afternoon
on my way from work
dancing like nobody's business
you think no one would notice
you think no one would care
you think you can come and go
like you always do
but i see you
 
awan yang sungguh menawan
my enticing karawach sky
 
i wrap you with a tie
and present you as a gift
suitable for a fine lady
 
Image002
 
 
February 04

Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy

 

Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

Well I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, never forget
These images

Well I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

November 18

Answer and Meaning

what is there life has to offer? is it food that you will crap out tomorrow or money that you'll spend eventually? is life merely just a repetition of a 24 hours routine? or accumulation of wealth and social status? is what i am today the same as what i will be this time next year? maybe with more or less money, more or less possessions, more or less appetite, we earn we spend, we eat we crap.... but is that it? is the only thing that will be different of me ten years from now is my social status, my money? if yes, then what's the point of it.. one day someone younger will overtake my social status, and my money will either be spent  or maybe kept in the bank, either way it's temporary and is not something that i can really call my own.
 
indeed life is an endless circle of 24 hours until you die, with maybe different routine sets throughout the courses of our life: school life routines, work life routines, family life routines but underneath the surface, in between this endless 24 hours grid people are searching for answer and meaning. I felt that if life is a game maybe this is the thing that can earn you a score..
 
so if answer and meaning is what matters, the question then is which one matters most? science and religion have been debating each other for an eternity.
 
The core of chinese philosophy if you trace it back originated from YiQing or some people would like to say it BaGua, in which i wouldn't go into much depth other than the fact that BaGua have a perfect harmony concept, that is between wind and fire. Fire generates wind, wind in turn makes fire grow bigger so with every cycle they grow stronger. I think meaning and answer relates to each other in a very similar harmony: Meaning generate answer, and answer give more to the meaning... complimenting each other to give something more fullfilling... maybe therefore a happier life.
 
so sad things happens when you take the two and confront them with each other... or in some extreme case dispense both of them like Chairman Mao did closing all the schools and destroying temples. In modern china however people tend to go with the science, labeling religion as superstition... so people grow up searching for answer yet not knowing the meaning.. out in the street you see government posters with 10 commandments of what to do and what not do which... sometimes i wonder, do people actually read that and then just obey by it no questions asked or what..
 
the thirst for a reason is there... it has always been there just dampened deep inside their souls... people go to school to study, choose a major, graduate and work and when they ask "what's all that for?" they get answers like: houses, money, social status... and so life goes on.. and the void inside grows bigger and bigger until one day you just stop asking for a meaning and accept it as part of growing up.
November 10

Hey There Delilah

 

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Wisdom

life is journey of discovering science and religion, answer and meaning, yin and yang, reason and purpose, man and women, birth and death, loyalty and betrayal, socialist and capitalist, passion and duty, theory and application, good and bad, instinct and logic, chaos and order, black and white...
 
and wisdom... wisdom lies in the grey
November 08

My Answering Machine


 
November 04

Commodore James Norrington (Pirates of Caribbean 3; At World's End)

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Bought the DVD and saw it last week, Pirates of the Caribbean 3; At World's End. A much anticipated movie especially amongst the chinese people, reason being Chow Yun Fat was in it and you get to see Keira Knightley in chinese dress. The movie was quite entertaining with nothing short of what you would expect from the typical hollywood movie blockbuster sadly though nothing more..

Though one side plot captured my heart, that is the relationship between Elisabeth Swan (Keira Knightley) and Commodore James Norrington (Jack Davenport) it's the only thing that still clings after i finished watching the movie and it still lingers in my mind until now, very strange.. the part where he sacrificed himself just to get her out of Flying Dutchmen is very sad, and how he said to her "our destinies have been entwinned elisabeth, but never joined"... I think the scriptwritter have been very unfair to this guy... and sometimes i feel that my "scriptwriter" have been unfair to me too... maybe that's why i remembered this sub-plot more than the entire movie, maybe because i feel like i share his sadness.. somehow 

entwinned but never joined...

October 04

Hospital Ad

I've been wanting to do this for a very long time... today i found the mood to start writing it down.
4 years of college doesn't give me anything worth mentioning, no theory, no skills, nothing that i would've remembered... everything goes down in the drain to WoowooLand, but i know deep down inside that i am still an advertising man, for whenever i'm on a bus ride home, my eyes would still be preying for ad billboards, wondering, admiring, criticizing. and eversince i got my beloved-nokia5300-handphone-with-a-camera i've been thinking *since you are so bitchy about it, why not take pictures of the ad and bitch about it on your own blog, so i did start taking pictures i just never find the energy or time to put it up on my blog. this picture below have been on my mobile for like zeons.. so now we'll have a new catagory on my blog called: Confession of an Advertising Man, basically an outlet for me to outpour anything advertising left inside me.
 
 
Hospital Ad

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this hospital billboard was on the bus stop near my old house in Madaokou, so everytime i go to the office i would have to stand next to it.
seriously i don't know where to start with this one, first thing it's pink! pink background with a pretty nurse smiling at you.. what's the point of it? what kind of positioning is that? heck i don't even know what kind of target market they were trying to attract. unless it's some kind of advertising for a hospital rental to shoot JAPANESE PORNOGRAPHIC VIDEO! i mean, why a pretty nurse? why would you want to use a pretty nurse to attract somebody to come to your hospital other than the reason i mentioned, i cannot think of any other reasons.
 
when you think of a hospital.. think of hands, many hands whom the owner is totally unrelated to your life whatsoever... then imagine these hands are playing around with your intestine... what do you have? PANIC RUSH you say? what are you panicking? HYGENE, yes! that's right... next thing you would want the hospital to have the proper equipment and some hi-tech machine there that would increase your chance of survival right? in other word FACILITY. 
 
If i was to do the advertising, being a women specialized hospital i wouldn't worry too much about survival thing. i would try to enforce the HYGENE image through the design.  maybe a high resolution, professionally taken picture of the front desk with REAL nurse in their correct uniform taking care of a patient.

4 October 2007

after 5 months in Madaokou, Chaoyang District, i'm finally back in Huaqing again. Same area, different building, different persepective. I now live on the 18th floor, though i've moved in for quite some time, i had been too preoccupied with my own mind to actually live the new environment that i am in now.
 
today after cleaning up the floor i decided to climb up the window to smoke a few cigs, watching the people walking by below me wondering about their own business, i feel the cold air blowing gently into the room.. it was a comfortable sense of loneliness, the one thing that i've gotten used to this past one year.  sure thing moving back to wudaokou  i am surrounded with friends and people that i know, but it's still cold nevertheless. you put one big cake in the middle and everyone would be busy minding their own piece of cake, leaving me feeling like a fool, but i guess this is the real world we live in, i guess i've been delusionized by the kind of friendships that you guys had offered me, WangQianJie, Angel, Shun, Shanai, Ci Lisa, Didik... damn, i miss you guys so much.
 
time passes by so slowly, i feel so... weary.. like a soldier returning back from a lost battle, passed his glorious battle, ripped from his pride.. nothing on his hand, only dreams of passed glory.. maybe it's time to rest..

我会过得很好
thank you for the memory
September 02

sad panda

 
August 27

What Goes Around

  

Hey girl, is he everything you wanted in a man
You know I gave you the world
You had me in the palm of your hand

So why your love went away
I just can't seem to understand
Thought it was me and you babe
Me and you until the end
But I guess I was wrong

Don't want to think about it
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way

Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it
I just can't do without ya
Tell me is this fair?

Is this the way it's really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry
It's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find

What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around

Now girl, I remember everything that you claimed
You said that you were moving on now (on now)
And maybe I should do the same
Funny thing about that is
I was ready to give you my name
Thought it was me and you, babe (babe)
And now, it's all just a shame
And I guess I was wrong

Don't want to think about it
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it
I just can't do without ya
Can you tell me is this fair?

Is this the way things are really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around (should've known better that you were gonna make me cry)
That you were going to make me cry
Now it's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find

What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around

What goes around comes around
Yeah
What goes around comes around
You should know that
What goes around comes around
Yeah
What goes around comes around
You should know that

Don't want to think about it (no)
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it (yeah)
I just can't do without ya
Tell me is this fair?

Is this the way things are going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around (should've known better that you were gonna make me cry)
That you were going to make me cry
Now it's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
But that's okay baby 'cause in time you will find

What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around

Let me paint this picture for you, baby

You spend your nights alone
And he never comes home
And every time you call him
All you get's a busy tone
I heard you found out
That he's doing to you
What you did to me
Ain't that the way it goes

You cheated girl
My heart bleeded girl
So it goes without saying that you left me feeling hurt
Just a classic case
A scenario
Tale as old as time
Girl you got what you deserved

And now you want somebody
To cure the lonely nights
You wish you had somebody
That could come and make it right

But girl I ain't somebody i'm out of sympathy
see

(What goes around comes back around)
I thought I told ya, hey
(What goes around comes back around)
I thought I told ya, hey
(What goes around comes back around)
I thought I told ya, hey
(What goes around comes back around)
I thought I told ya, hey

See?
Hey,hey,hey,hey...
You should've listened to me, baby
Because
(What goes around comes back around)

   

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